Management Course

No running so far today as I have been on a course all day. Here is what I have learnt so far.

Lesson 1:

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour... Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel’. After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'who was that’?
‘It was Bob the next door neighbour,' she replies. ‘Great,’ the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?'

Moral of the story:

If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.


Lesson 2:

A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?' The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?' The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.' Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'

Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great
opportunity.


Lesson 3:

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'
'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk 'I want to be in the Bahamas driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.'
Puff! She's gone.

'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.'
Puff! He's gone.

'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch'

Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.


Lesson 4

A turkey was chatting with a bull.

'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.' 'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients..'

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at t he top of the tree.

He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

Moral of the story:
Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.


Lesson 5

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out!

He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.

(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.

(3 ) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!

100 days, thoughts and views

I started blogging at the end of 2007 because everyone else was doing it and although we are now in 2009 and I don't blog as much, I do try to write about the more important runs. But I should post about more than just the runs. I need to post more about my feelings as well.

The reason for this isn't for the people that read the blog but for myself.

At 1am this morning it was exactly 100 days until the West Highland Way race. It was a landmark last year and I was very worried and nervous. This year it passed without me even noticing. Last year I had ran the Balloch/Clydebank half marathon exactly the same as this week. Last year I ran 2 minutes quicker. Last year I was running Wuthering Hike the following weekend but this year I am doing a West Highland Way training run. Last year I had race 5 weekends consecutively. Last year at this time I decided to run the WHW in 2009 as well.

Here is a copy of my blog from last year. For me reading this is amazing. For everyone else it may not mean much but to me it is the point that my training started to go wrong.

Wednesday, 12 March 2008

100 Days to go!!!

Today is exactly 100 days until the toughest race I have ever done.

100 days 5 hours and 42 minutes to go until I run the 95 miles from Milngavie to Fort William. And how do I feel today. Awful. The half marathon has taken quiet a lot out of me and I know that it will take a few days to get over it. I feel tired, lethargic and my limbs hurt. I am taking today off running because I need to be fit for the Wuthering Hike 33m ultra on Saturday where I will meet Brian Mc for the first time. Hopefully we get on as we have already decided to do the OMM this October together. I have always wanted to try one so this will be my chance.

It is also good because I have been wondering what to fill the void that will be left once I have run the West Highland Way. Every waking moment seems to be filled with it and I can see how people get obsessed with challenges. I have even had dreams with people from the race. Yes Dario and Davie A. I am sorry to say that you have appeared to me at night much to Debbie's horror.

So the way I see it is before the race you can't wait for the race. During it you can't wait for it to be over and after it you can't wait to do it next year. After talking to John K on one of the training runs he suggested that a good way of looking at the race is to think of it as a 2 year challenge, with the first year being a warm up for the real race the second time. And so I have decided that if all goes well this year I am going to enter the race in 2009 as well. This way I will have hopefully learned from my mistakes and most importantly there will be no void to fill.

At the beginning of the blog I speak about being knackered. Today I feel great. No aches, no fatigue. Tomorrow I am running a 42 mile training run easy. Easy pace, big breaks and just a time on feet run. On Saturday I aim to run 20 miles on the canal, again easy. I would never have been able to contemplate this last year.

Although I blame running the London marathon and the Islands three peaks race as reasons that my training plan went wrong last year after reading my blog from the month of March last year I can now see that training was starting to go wrong before then and there was a reason to be nervous last year with 100 days to go. This year though with 100 days to go, I am just really looking forward to it.

So this year everything seems easier. Perhaps when I get to 10 WHW's the training will finally go perfect.

Scare Cut

Preparing for the WHW means a lot of admin and preparation.  Top of the list has to be the hair cut.  So off to the barbers for a budget cut which offers superb streamlining (although my ears don't help there) and cooling (believe me it's cold).

I have to admit I am still not used to it and Debbie sure isn't.   The things that I have done for this race... :-)

 

DOES MY HEAD LOOK BIG IN THIS?

Whatever floats your boat

My next challenge before the WHW race is the Scottish Island Peaks race.  It involves a team of five divided into 3 sailors and 2 runners.

The race starts in Oban with a 5 mile race for the two runners.  When they finish they join up with the rest of the team and sail to Mull.  The runners then run 23 miles up Ben More before again returning to the boat to sail to Jura.  The runners then run 18 miles over the Papas of Jura before the team sails to Arran and the runners have a 15 mile run up Goat Fell.  Over to Troon and the whole team has a 100 meter sprint to the finish.  The race starts at 12 noon on the 16th May and doesn't have a finish time.  We hope to finish sometime on the Monday.

This weekend was the first time that our team, the Firebird 5, had all been together in the same place at the same time.  In fact some of the team don't even know each other.  And so it was time for a training weekend and some male bonding but with no alcohol.

TEAM FIREBIRD 5 (L-R - PAUL, KENNY, ME, KEN, CHARLIE)

SATURDAY 19TH APRIL

Paul and Kenny picked me upon Saturday morning and it was off to Rhu to meet Charlie and his Dad, Chas.  We loaded the boat and after what felt like an eternity we where off.

The boat belonged to Charlie's dad and it was Charlie that appeared to be doing the driving most of the weekend.  As we reversed from the pier in Rhu I thought for a moment that we were going to hit it but Kenny pushed the boat away.  Chas hardly even raised his head. 

We used the motor to go to Inverkip and pick up the last of our crew members.  Ken Brown.

BEAUTIFUL WEATHER BUT COLD

And so our crew was complete.  Kenny our sailing captain, Charlie who has impressed me with his enthusiasm for the trip, Ken our new replacement who I used to go to school with.  The running team was Paul my wee brother and still on a high from the London Marathon last week and of course me.  Chas was the provider of the boat and of the knowledge that hopefully will see us through.

We sailed all afternoon to Lamlash in Arran.  Sailing is tough.  It's cold with not much to see or do.  What it does give you is a feeling of immense freedom.  Like a 17 year old with his first car and the world is your oyster.  All of a sudden every island is there to be explored, every coast, every nook and craney.

MAKES ME FEEL SICK LOOKING AT IT STILL

But when we got to Arran there was no exploring to be done.  The sea was too rough to attempt the planned dinghy landing.  It was infact so rough that one of the sailors, Kenny, was sick over the side.  Well at least I could be sick without fear of embarrassment.  We retreated to the relative shelter of the Holy Island and over dinner we discussed what we would do.  In the end we decided that we would make another attempt at landing and if it wasn't successful would continue sailing.  As we headed to ward the pier I started to get changed.  This was a big mistake.  Now I was turning green.

Again we aborted the dinghy landing.  I was pleased as I felt sick enough on the boat never mind the dinghy.

So we sailed out of Lamlash bay and I retreated to my bed.  Feeling sick and just wanting to sleep.  I text Debbie who was on a night out with her sister and then fell asleep in my stinky diesel cabin.

MY CABIN.  SICK BAG NOT INCLUDED.

Later on I woke up and felt guilty at not really doing anything on the boat.  I went on deck and although it was a cracking night with the full moon shining I immediately felt sick and so returned to my bed and back to sleep.  Later on I was awoken by the engine starting (right next to my head) but I was so tired and sick that I didn't care.

SUNDAY 20TH APRIL

I woke up.  A look at my watch and it was just after 6am.  I tried to move my arm.  I couldn't.  A sickly pain travelled through my shoulder and down to my elbow.  Damn.  Must have been sleeping on it all night.  The pain will go away soon I thought.  It didn't.  Then I remembered banging it the night before.  It wasn't sore at the time but that must have been it. 

I had slept all night in all my gear.  Waterproofs and even my lifejacket.  I needed to pee urgently.  I was surprised.  I had hardly drank anything all of the day before but it had been over 12 hours since I had been.  I looked out of the porthole.  The sea was calm and I could see a pier.  Where the heck are we I thought.  I staggered to the toilet in agony with my sore shoulder, disheveled from sleeping with all the gear on.  I woke Kenny by accident.  He still looked rough from yesterdays sail and throwing up over the side.  He laughed at the state of me and asked if I had slept in my lifejacket.  "I promised my wife I would keep it on" was my reply.  Not being a particulary good swimmer Debbie had made me promise that I would keep it on although I am sure she didn't mean in my cabin.  My pee was like treacle and I was embarrassed that someone might have to use the toilet after me.  I went back to bed a read my book.  The first time I was able to as it was now flat calm.

BREAKFAST TIME

A couple of hours later we were all sitting around the table having breakfast.  Another good meal prepared by Kenny.  The sailors had sailed us until early in the morning to the north end of Bute.  Did we still want to get out for a run?  I checked the maps and decided that we could run across Bute to Rothesay in about 2 to 2 1/2 hours.  Just over 10 miles but a lot off road and Paul and I still recovering from the London Marathon.  In the mean while the sailors would sail the boat around the island and pick us up.

Kenny rowed the dingy with Paul and I in it.  I was so glad to be off the boat that I could have kissed the ground.  I felt sick, hungover and very fatigued.  How would I feel in the actual race?  No wonder that every runner I had ever spoken to had talked about it being the hardest thing they had ever done. 

OUT OF THE SAILING GEAR INTO THE RUNNING GEAR

The run across Bute was tough.  There was a lot of climbing at the beginning and with no trail to follow it was across heather and bush.  I had elected to wear shorts and so within an hour my legs were cut to shreds and felt like I had sunburn.  My shoulder was so sore that I was unable to move my right arm and that made balancing difficult.

Both of us were very tired after the marathon the week before and decided to change the planned course onto an easier road route.  But on the road the wind was a nightmare although we did overtake a couple of cyclists who were clearly having more trouble than us.

At last we were in Rothesay and met up with the boat for our trip back to Rhu.

Sonic on Conic

After yesterday's tough run Debbie and I decided a nice long lie and a walk up Conic Hill would be a nice way to relax today.  After three lovely bacon sandwiches (in my bed and made by Debbie) and an hour of Jeremy Kyle we at last started to get our stuff together.  At that moment I received a call out from the Mountain Rescue.  A woman had broken her leg on yes you guessed it, Conic Hill.

When we got to Conic Hill we were stood down as a paramedic helicopter was dispatched to fly her off the hill and the Mountain Rescue was no longer needed.  Debbie and I were joined by Joe from the MR team for the walk up the hill.

At the top we found that the paramedic helicopter was still there and had broken down.  So the woman had to be rescued by a Sea King helicopter.  Ever felt that you have been in the right place at the right time.  Well this was one of those days as I took photos of the helicopter and sold one to the Daily Express with the money being donated to our charity.  The Yorkhill Childrens Foundation.  All good.

Full Moon

Today I found out how to work out when Easter Sunday will be and why it is so early this year.  Easter Sunday is on the first Sunday after the first full moon after the spring equinox.  It is early this year because the equinox, full moon and first Sunday are all on the same weekend.  But this is not the reason in the naming of this post.  Today when I was driving through Bearsden I saw a member of my running club dodging cars as he attempted to cross Boclair Road.  Being a runner myself and far worse at fighting with motor cars I slowed down to let him cross and since he still didn't realise it was me I beeped my horn to say "Hi".  And he replied by mooning me.  He still doesn't realise that it was me.  So John Murray, you're welcome.

100 Days to go!!!

Today is exactly 100 days until the toughest race I have ever done.

100 days 5 hours and 42 minutes to go until I run the 95 miles from Milngavie to Fort William.  And how do I feel today.  Awful.  The half marathon has taken quiet a lot out of me and I know that it will take a few days to get over it.  I feel tired, lethargic and my limbs hurt.  I am taking today off running because I need to be fit for the Wuthering Hike 33m ultra on Saturday where I will meet Brian Mc for the first time.  Hopefully we get on as we have already decided to do the OMM this October together.  I have always wanted to try one so this will be my chance.

It is also good because I have been wondering what to fill the void that will be left once I have run the West Highland Way.  Every waking moment seems to be filled with it and I can see how people get obsessed with challenges.  I have even had dreams with people from the race.  Yes Dario and Davie A.  I am sorry to say that you have appeared to me at night much to Debbie's horror.

So the way I see it is before the race you can't wait for the race.  During it you can't wait for it to be over and after it you can't wait to do it next year.  After talking to John K on one of the training runs he suggested that a good way of looking at the race is to think of it as a 2 year challenge, with the first year being a warm up for the real race the second time.  And so I have decided that if all goes well this year I am going to enter the race in 2009 as well.  This way I will have hopefully learned from my mistakes and most importantly there will be no void to fill.

Newsflash !!!!

People are pulling out of races left right and centre at the moment.  Firstly some guy called Haile Gebrselassie has pulled out of some big run on the other side of the world and blamed air pollution and this made the news for some reason.  More importantly, and for some reason this didn't make the news, Chris Upson has also pulled out of the WHW race due to injury.  It was actually a shock when I heard because I was looking forward to running it with him.  Out of all the people that are running the race he has the closest times to me.  Well for road races anyway as his forte is fell running which I have no experience at.  His half marathon PB is only one second quicker than mine.

Here is hoping Chris recovers soon.  A much bigger shock to me than that other guy pulling out. ;-)

Something ever so slightly non-PC

This is absolutely hilarious.  It is terrible and I am sorry that it is full of swearing and has an ever so slight Celtic slant, but I haven't laughed so much in a long time and thought that I would post it.